RELATIONSHIP REPAIR
Step-by-Step Series PART 1: "Really?"
Does this scene sound familiar? Your partner, spouse, or significant other says or does something hurtful, inappropriate, or disappointing. Eventually, they follow it up with a weak or insincere “I’m sorry” and then a vague “Let’s move on.” Does this resonate with you? Or, even worse, does it feel all too familiar?
Are you interested in learning seven practical steps for repairing a relationship? These steps can be applied to any spouse, significant other, partner, co-worker, or teen to help mend a damaged relationship. You can use these seven steps immediately without intrusive or costly outside help.
If you and the other person have had or are experiencing a strained relationship without resolution, be assured that the issue will arise again.
We all enter relationships with a range of past experiences. Some of these we recognize as personal growth, while others we refer to as “baggage.” From childhood up to the present moment, we each carry our baggage. Some of us have briefcases, while others may have suitcases. A few might even have overnight bags, and some drag along steamer trunks filled with emotional baggage. This emotional baggage consists of negative interactions, pain, drama, and trauma that we hold onto tightly, often for reasons we don’t fully understand.
A typical pattern in many troubled relationships often unfolds like this: a harmful action or event is followed by a half-hearted "I'm sorry." This is usually accompanied by stumbling, mumbled excuses, or an attempt to shift blame onto someone or something else. Next comes a feeble or insincere "I’m sorry," followed by a request of "Can’t we just move on?" without resolving the underlying issues.
Are you familiar with this scenario? Are you too familiar with this scenario? The problem here is the ‘issue’ is never addressed. Or worked on. And certainly not resolved. So the question is, why not?
The answer is that neither person knows the next step after asking, “Can’t we just move on?” As a result, the cycle repeats itself over and over. Why does this happen? Because there is no plan, repair mechanism, or sense of responsibility.
People don’t split up because they ‘fall out of love.’ They leave because they become indifferent.
Every negative relationship cycle has us trying to move forward in a state of discomfort or, even worse, comfortable misery. In many relationships, there’s often little or no genuine desire to change. Why is that?
The simple reason is that neither person knows what the next step is after: “Can’t we just move on?”
What does ‘moving on’ honestly look like in a world filled with relationship realities? What does ‘moving on’ mean? Is it simply waiting for the other shoe to drop once more? Is it starting the cycle over again?
Join me next time for Part 2, “A Plan!”